31st Etiquette

3 Nov

As I was making the Portland to Beaverton trek on Friday night…I was chatting with Sassy. I was headed to Sassy’s house, but couldn’t wait to talk to her so we talked on the way to her house. … that’s how we roll.

While on the phone a few things happened…Trick or Treaters came to the door a couple of times leaving her to put the phone down a couple of times. I could hear the turkeys coming to her door.

After talking with her about Trick or Treaters these days and how times have changed…I came up with a few tips of advice for your 2009 Trick or Treaters.

In no particular order…

1. Parents, what are you teaching your children if you drive them around in the minivan from house to house? It’s kind of a given they will already eat about 5 lbs. of candy that night anyway, unless you had them at the gym already that day…I am pretty sure a good mile or so of exercise would do little Johnny some good not to mention yourself!

2. Middle Schoolers, if you plan to go partake in this blessed event of Trick or Treating…at least throw a costume on okay??? This is ludicrous these pre-teens that come to the door with no costume!!! Who do you think I am? Do you think we did that back in our day??? NO WAY! If all else fails…your sister’s dance team costumes work wonders.

3. Kids, YOU NEVER ASK THE HOMEOWNER FOR MORE! Read my lips you fat kids!! See #1! You don’t need anymore than you are already getting!

4. Homeowners, why must you give out apples? Halloween is for candy…some give out popcorn…I can handle that (MOM!) but apples? PUUUUHHHHLLLLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I know what you are thinking…what about #1 and #3? It’s all about the candy!

5. Kids, when you come to the door…someone made up the crazy tradition…so use it!

It goes like this: I open the door, you say “trick or treat”. Easy…I don’t like you kids that just stand there with your pillowcases held open looking all dumb and confused! Show me your cuteness first!

6. Kids, last but not least…what are the magic words? Everyone one together “THANK YOU!”

Have fun kids!

Here is a pic of my favorite Trick or Treaters from the night…


One Response to “31st Etiquette”

  1. Heidi November 7, 2008 at 5:08 am #

    Nicely done Sass. I have one more… IF you see that the house has a beavers flag up or a super sweet obama yard sign.. FLATTER them by saying “Beavers Rock” or… “Go Obama!” This sort of flattering will get mooore candy than asking… you little punks!

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