My Nannie…

22 Jul

These last few weeks have been such a whirlwind.  I haven’t had the time or the energy to post about what these last weeks have consisted of.  It’s life…and it’s something that I will never forget.

Back in April, my nannie was in the ICU diagnosed with sepsis from a bladder infection.  She came out with flying colors after about a month of hospital and rehab.  She was a little slower as far as moving and she was using a walker when going to far places like her favorites…Fred Meyer or Target.  She was gaining strength everyday.  Monday, June 29th she was diagnosed with Cancer.  It was far into it’s stages…it was one of the worst days of my life when I found out.  The doctor let us know it was in her uterus, liver, and lungs.  On July 3rd she was taken to the emergency room with massive pain in her abdomen and her stomach was extending rapidly.  She was admitted and never left.  We spent many of hours by her bedside as she got weaker and weaker by the day.
By Tuesday morning we had signed her up for hospice in hopes she would be able to go to some kind of foster care.  Wednesday she was incoherent and very uncomfortable.  As much as I have been through, this was the absolute worst day of my life.  I can’t even bare to think about it. That day we decided to put her on a morphine drip just to keep her comfortable and to stop all other forms of medicine.  Many many people came to the hospital to show support.  My mom and I were there for about 48 hours straight with  quick breaks to run home for showers. Although that time was rough, I would not exchange it for the world.  We sat by her by with every breath… knowing each one could be the last.  She held on and fought with all her might…until Friday the 10th when we all happened to walk into the hallway to say goodbye to part of the family.  I walked back in quickly to get something and grabbed her hand.  She took her last breath then.  She was gone.
My nannie and I had a great relationship that I will cherish forever.  She was like a second mother to me.  I spent many evenings with her as a child and she moved in with us for a couple weeks when both my dad and my sister passed.  She was NEVER sick…even a cold was rare.  I never thought she would die.  It broke my heart into a million pieces.
I thank each and everyone of you for all the things you did.  My wonderful mother was a champ through this all.  My amazing boyfriend stuck by me, left work early a few days, missed work a few days, brought me food, took me out for a walk when I needed it, fed my mom’s dog and anything and everything he could.  My wonderful friend Angela coordinated all the food for the reception following the service and her wonderful crew…Patricia, Theresa, Kaitlyn, Jessica, Mrs. McArthur, Mrs. Roth, Mrs. Bright, and whoever else she grabbed off the street to bake or cook something.
I am still in a state of shock.  It is very surreal to me that one more person in my life has passed on.  When she realized she was dying, my mom and her had a conversation about it…she told my mom she was excited to get to Heaven because she couldn’t wait to hug and kiss my sister.  It brings tears to my eyes now to even think about how cool that was for them.  Sad to die and leave us here, but oh so excited to see my sister, my grandfather, and many others.
When a person is dying at Providence Hospital, they offer any kind of support you need.  We accepted a “Passage Quilt” for her to be covered up with.  It is green with flowers.  She LOVED green.  I got to keep the quilt and I sleep with it every night.
Thank you to everyone who has helped us get through this…it has been rough and I can imagine will continue to be for awhile.  Please know I cherish you all and I am there for you when you need me…

One Response to “My Nannie…”

  1. The Gustafson Family July 24, 2009 at 7:00 am #

    I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a lovely woman. I will be keeping you & your nannie in my prayers.

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